you know for the last year or so i have been bitching and moaning for something normal in my life acting likeit was the people around me from prewventing me from doind the things in life that i concider to be normal and now that my head is starting to clear (as ok day 4 without the meth monster to consume these things) yesterday afternoon after mom brought me home after court i laid down to take a nap (normal id like to thionk not on a wed afternoon none the less quite f-ing relaxing and enjoyable) any ways i wake up to nathan and tabi voices coming home from school something i have always enjoyed and concidered to be normal (but would ruin with my complaining and whining) but yesterday when they came up into my room and were telling my how the day at school had gone. i had just got off the phone with the girl that i had got baxter from (one of my dogs) since the dogs were happy to see the kids as well and werent calming down i was tellingthe kids how the last couple of evenings ihad taken baxter on a run to the parkon my bike so imediatly being kids they wanted to go to the park and usally i would of made some stupid reason up to not of gone but instead found myself packing up the kids the dogs and amanda and i and going to the park with footballs baseballs frisbees horshoes ect ect. and haviong one of the most normal afternoons i have had with allof us in quite some time.....with this being said
to do list
*allow god to provide more of these times and hopefully show me the things in life that keep me on this road as i am about as beat down and clueless as they come..........but willing
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Dean I am so happy you have made this start...and your right, afternoons at the park with your family is what your life is SUPPOSE to be all about. I loved your feel sooo much when you were truly all about your kids. I can remember many a week day morning skidding to the couch with a cup of coffee for a chew with Dean...I want those days back I'm sure as much as you do....It's not going to be an easy climb but you've done it before, and you can do it again...Remember this verse and claim it as your own....I CAN DO all things through CHRIST who strengthens me....key words here being CAN DO....doesn't say "maybe" you can, or there's at least a shot, it says CAN DO....I never heard how the meeting went but I am assuming it went well. KEEP GOING.....to many as you can get to....it's never wasted time and who knows maybe someone you come across with in there will have some insight into how to dig out of some of those other problems....Your kids need you to be the GREAT dad you are capable of being....and in the meantime ask God for His wisdom for the answers you need....Know I am praying for you constantly as are many other family members.....the fact that you are willing to do it says it all......love you
ReplyDelete4 days is a kickass start. I can relate bro... for me it's blackjack not meth, but I'm sure we do it for the same reason. When you're at bottom, four days up is four GIANT steps. Keep it up, look how much good it already did.
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you, dean! if there is anything you need or just want to talk i am so here for you! 4 days is huge! there was a time when 4 hours without a sack could push me clean over. you were there for me when i didn't want it and i would love to be here for you now. i know how good you are in recovery and i know God will give it all back to you. you just have to do the footwork that no one but you can do. but being willing is everything, and you have everyone here to support you and love you, as well as anyone down there from meetings. they can be truly good giving people if you want them to. know that i love you.
ReplyDeleteDean I found a couple more verses as I was doing my study thos morning that were too perfect for you not to share....they are found in 2 Peter 5: 8 - 10....Be sober, be vigilant; becasue your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour..Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world...But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you... it's sooo true and sooo perfect...we need to be sober at all times as Satan wants to destroy us...we need to resist him and stand strong in our faith in God so that He can perfects us and strengthens us and hears the part I really love "settle" us....
ReplyDeleteDean - I am so excited and so happy! We'll be praying for you.
ReplyDelete