JUGGLER RETURNS, and you know it is amasing when you sit somewhere for hours then days and ooooppssss it starts to seem like....... what was Italking about? Oh yea, then all of the sudden you remember or perhaps forgot the one thing in life that has always carried YOU through. A HOPE AND A PRAYER no not bon jovi...... But the same thing in life that everyone else in the world does when they find themselves hanging on the side of an air plane without a parachute LET GO and pray like never before oh PLEASE GOD LET ME LIVE THROUGH THIS and I'LL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN only to find oneself rite back at the stove with there hand a melted stump at end of their arm. yet in the most desperate times in life, hoping that he might just let you fall, just so you dont have to wake the next day to live the same bullshit from the day before. (OK DI, THAT WAS FOR YOU) but I believe after the weak I just had, (More like the year or so) and the fact that I am running out of hands to touch that stove with, that I am tired so I am going to put my life in Gods hands and go upstairs and go to sleep with a prayer, so that when I wake tomorrow there is enough hope to remember, thing this to shall pass .
good night the tile dude
Dean it is the first step and a good one.
ReplyDeleteYou alone with the help of god can pull your life together. I have heard you talk like an idiot for the last few years and thought that there was no hope for you. But if you are sincere in what you just posted here. We will see you back in control of your life.
If there is anything that you want to talk about that will help you get your life together then lets talk.
But I don't want to hear This f--ing or that f---ing.
The world is not against you. You have been against yourself for many years.
A sincere I am sorry to the police department may surprise you. Someone may just take pity on you and help you. You will never know unless you try.
When you pray to god don't shout ask for direction. Then listen for what he has to say. It may be not what you want to hear but it will get your life back together.
We really all love the inner you but we have a hard time with the ass you have been.
After reading your blog I cried.God loves you Dean and wants you back in the fold. With your mothers love and prayers,your families love,and prayers and your prayers and commitment
ReplyDeleteGod will not let you fail. I firmly believe that. We will all be here encouraging and praying. I do believe you should have or do realize you need meetings to help you.
Love Mom
Wow Dean, I can't tell you how happy it makes me to see what your latest plans are. Of course you already know what can happen when you let go of the controls of your life, and then put them in the hands of God. You have overcome great odds before in your life and I know you can do it again. Jeff has bragged more about you and your past successes then you can imagine, and has used as example of how someone can rise up out of bon fires and really put your life together with God's help. Whatever you need from us to help you with that is yours for the asking. I already pray for you everyday, but I will double up on them now....I agree with mom..maybe go to a meeting or two and gather all the help you can get..We all love you and nothing ever changes that. I think this blog may be a great way for us all to help each other and keep each other accountable for the things we are dealing with in our lives. I will be looking forward to futher posts. Love you.....
ReplyDeleteThis is the Dean I love to hear talking. You are in my prayers always. God is the only one who can help and He is there in our darkest hours. I have seen His power and peace so many times in my life when I have thought there was no hope and all He wants from you is to be asked in. Love you.
ReplyDeleteHow to start? First, I am sooo happy that you have decided to reach out, as I feel that with God and our family pack ANYTHING is possible! It has been so hard for me to watch you go through everything these last couple of years! It has literaly broken my heart. Partly because I know what your capable of and partly because there is such an incredible bond between the two us. I know you know what I meean, for what ever reason there is an unmeasurable connection between the two of us that goes way deeper than big bother little sister. Sometimes it scares me as I know that I truley would do just about ANYTHING to help you, and would practicaly kill to protect you! I have tried to understand it but I can't, so instead I have decided to embrace it. Please Dean I am on my hands and knees begging you to do what you know you need to do! I promise to help every step of the way! I want my SOBER (there I said it) brother back! Remember how much fun we would have with our kids and all the talks and laughs we would have. Besides me wanting my big brother back, I know that Todd wants his best friend back! You are such an amazing person Dean and can do anything you set your mind to. I want to start being able to brag about my brother who not once but twice has risen from the ashes and overcome his demons and built a wonderful life for himself and his family! This might not of been the right place to say this but I couldn't stop myself. I Love you Dean, Donna
ReplyDelete